![]() ![]() ![]() “That’s 20 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.” “Yeah, but do you really want 20 minutes of your life back?” Cassie getting up on stage and telling her truth to the audience. “Irrelevancy” is “plural irrelevancies.” Cassie decoding Clay’s suicide postcard. Sully’s very pregnant wife destroying his car over the crabs. “You religious, Adam?” “No, I figured I’d find Jesus after I’m pulled over by some white cops in Bel Air.” Goldie telling Mitch she nursed the comics while clutching her breasts. Yeah, you can fly free when someone dies so I try to plan my vacations around my dying relatives.” Clay’s graphic death scene. “So you get back to Boston much?” “Well, I try to make it back for all the major funerals. Guy ripping up Clay’s suicide postcard in front of an unresponsive Cassie. “These are tortured fucking souls, Mitch.” “And here I thought we were talking about comics.” Meta moment of the show talking about its tone. “Bill, I love you like a raging yeast infection, but shut the fuck up.” Eddie expertly turning the insults back on the heckler. I just don’t give a shit.” Goldie’s horrifying reminder of what the Nazis did to Jews. “She gave me crabs.” “Aw, what’d you get her?” Arnie being a racist ass to Adam. But now they only have kids when there’s nothing good on.” Bill’s insensitive attitude toward Cassie. “Italians used to have big families before television. ![]() “How pissed are back-alley abortionists? There goes six months of veterinary school right down the drain.” Cassie discussing comedy topic misogyny after Bill does the third round of the alphabet on her. She didn’t make it through surgery, she’s dead.” Ron giving hand job tips. That’s a 'no’ in the back? Is that? Yeah, that’s my wife. “Comedians are coming home from Canada, 'cause they’re pussies, right? Ugh, they are not known for their bravery, man. Ron walking in bottomless when Maggie is bottomless. “If I’m out here with Maggie, screwing, you gotta wait till we’re done.” “And what exactly does that cocktail of degradation and self-loathing sound like when it’s finished? Sobbing? A single gunshot?” “Probably just a groggy 'Where am I?’ after the ether wears off.” Edgar’s Mexican-themed set. “You know who swam in this pool?” “Like, bacteria + shit?” Ghost Clay is kind of annoying and doesn’t reveal much about that the audience can’t infer without his presence. If it doesn’t, get the fuck out ‘cause you don’t care enough.” Set those stakes up. Every laugh should feel like a sharp poke in your fucking eye. “Every other comic’s success, every set he kills, every Merv, Johnny, or Dinah-fucking-Shore appearance another comic makes is one more that we didn’t get. ![]() “What do you think?” “I think I got more hair on my lip than he does on his nuts.” Those prodigious '70s bushes. “That guy’s got his head so far up Goldie’s ass he can taste her last meal.” That’s a good bed when you can bounce off it that high. “ about as stable as a Middle East cease-fire.” I thought closet living was a NYC thing. Lit major? Or is this just a game where where you and I blurt out hobbies you think your mother + I share?” Did the black woman have to steal dead Clay’s wallet? “Ever since Carson moved his outfit from New York to here, every asshole who think he can tell a joke has been circling Burbank like a fucking vulture.” Not much has changed. “It’s my bachelor party.” “Yeah.” “Well, what are you doing in here? That hooker in the trunk ain’t gonna bury herself.” Every time I hear the phrase, “the climb,” it makes me think of Miley Cyrus, and I get very sad/mad at myself. Very Winter Soldier of Sebastian Stan to open his beer bottle on his balcony railing. ![]()
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